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amaliaverdezoto > _Chained > 2 2. Goodbye
It's been another two years since she made that decision and something is different.

Jonas... seems to be really giving effort in concealing his affair from her. What else should she think about except this?

He is slowly becoming closer to her again. Trying to be the husband he was before he met his new love. As if he notices his distance and absentmindedness from her.

She can't help but think: He really wants to make sure she won't suspect his affair.

It persists for another three years. She wants to hope but does not allow herself to feel it.

The pricks in her heart is becoming almost negligible.

It's already painful now. No need to further give herself any more deadly pain. It might just turn her crazy.

. . . . .

Cancer. She has cancer. Stage 4. Guess the Lord pitied her.

In a way, despite the horrible news, she feels thankful.

At least she will be gone first. She does not have to see him walk away from her. When she's gone, it'll be to the knowledge of him still being her husband till her death.

What he does after that is his choice. By then, she is willing to let him go.

. . . . .

Does it have to take her dying to get his full attention back to her?

Kara knows she already lost him long ago. Though he smiles at her, though he kisses her and touches her, his heart already belonged to another. Though he's trying to be closer to her once again and becoming her husband as before, she knows the truth will not change.

He's already gone. He isn't hers anymore and she does not think he ever will be again.

She had become used to it. Even the pain is already a familiar companion. The full and unrestrained loving attention she currently receives bewilders her, but she just rolls with it and accepts it with wide, open arms, her walls unconsciously breaking down.

. . . . .

It's a lie, Kara knows. His care is only because of his guilt. He is still her husband after all. They are still married. He has the responsibility to care for her.

But she cannot help it. The treacherous snare around him effectively catches her without any effort on his part.

She still loves him. It never left. It remains there deep inside her heart, burning ever so strongly despite the battering she receives.

She continues to fall, and she allowed herself to live in this beautiful illusion.

At least she will have this good memory before she left for good. At least she will still carry the thought that even if it is just probably a responsibility, she have him wholeheartedly.

. . . . .

Her strength fades as each day passes and the therapy isn't working. It's just prolonging her life and eating their money resources.

She isn't sad. She's happy.

She never thought a deadly sickness will be the key to giving her a good last memory.

Even if her suffering prolongs for some more moths.

. . . . .

It's time, she can feel it. Death is ready to take her and she's ready to accept it.


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